Comments on: Relationship: When to Tell a New Date You Have Lupus https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/ Health Info on Lupus Symptoms, Treatments & Research Wed, 17 Aug 2022 02:18:29 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.2.5 By: SHARA https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/#comment-228934 Wed, 17 Aug 2022 02:18:29 +0000 https://lupus-appli-1kjf77zfuvjpc-635402343.us-east-1.elb.amazonaws.com/?p=1201#comment-228934 I have been in a couple of relationships where I discussed my Lupus. One man was very understanding in the beginning, but after thinking it over; decided he wasn’t prepared for the always ‘unknown’ from day to day. He was a planner and lived on a very rigid schedule. The other man read everything he could on the subject, but couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that I wasn’t really 100% healthy because he said I didn’t look sick. So, when he wanted to plan an outing in the sun or at the beach, he decided I was just being hard to get along with because I told him I would be sick after being in the sun. Even though he read everything, he just couldn’t accept it. I live by the creed that I have a disability, the disability does NOT have me. I try to live as normal a life as possible, so many people don’t realize the extent of the major medical issues Lupus has caused me. I have had two open heart surgeries, multiple atypical pneumonia bouts, RA, Fibromyalgia and migraines since being diagnosed in 1987. It’s a struggle sometimes, but I plan to enjoy life as much as possible.

]]> By: SHARA https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/#comment-228935 Wed, 17 Aug 2022 02:18:29 +0000 https://lupus-appli-1kjf77zfuvjpc-635402343.us-east-1.elb.amazonaws.com/?p=1201#comment-228935 I have been in a couple of relationships where I discussed my Lupus. One man was very understanding in the beginning, but after thinking it over; decided he wasn’t prepared for the always ‘unknown’ from day to day. He was a planner and lived on a very rigid schedule. The other man read everything he could on the subject, but couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that I wasn’t really 100% healthy because he said I didn’t look sick. So, when he wanted to plan an outing in the sun or at the beach, he decided I was just being hard to get along with because I told him I would be sick after being in the sun. Even though he read everything, he just couldn’t accept it. I live by the creed that I have a disability, the disability does NOT have me. I try to live as normal a life as possible, so many people don’t realize the extent of the major medical issues Lupus has caused me. I have had two open heart surgeries, multiple atypical pneumonia bouts, RA, Fibromyalgia and migraines since being diagnosed in 1987. It’s a struggle sometimes, but I plan to enjoy life as much as possible.

]]> By: Lou https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/#comment-61321 Tue, 25 May 2021 16:47:08 +0000 https://lupus-appli-1kjf77zfuvjpc-635402343.us-east-1.elb.amazonaws.com/?p=1201#comment-61321 In reply to Janet.

The covid crisis has caused me to share more often because my husband and I have had to pull so far back from most activities. People really don’t understand lupus. So I usually don’t talk about it. I’m not a candidate for the vaccine because of previous vaccine issues. I have friends who also have lupus so we reach out to each other often. Those friends, my husband and my son and daughter-in-law are my support.

]]> By: Peggy Bailey https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/#comment-36272 Sat, 07 Nov 2020 23:08:51 +0000 https://lupus-appli-1kjf77zfuvjpc-635402343.us-east-1.elb.amazonaws.com/?p=1201#comment-36272 In reply to Sanquanita Francis.

Yep that is my situation also most people think anyone that talks about issues with health r hyper bout there illness they think we over think whats going on bout it so i learned to just shut up keep to my self its sad by doctors dont want to hear it either they just dont have time for us

]]> By: Janet https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/#comment-32853 Wed, 24 Jun 2020 01:24:04 +0000 https://lupus-appli-1kjf77zfuvjpc-635402343.us-east-1.elb.amazonaws.com/?p=1201#comment-32853 It depends. We’re you already friends with this person before starting to date. For me first dates were about seeing if you are compatible or a early attraction to each other. To me first dates are about seeing if there is even a connection or if you are compatible with each other. If not no need to go further. First dates are about fun and getting to know each other. For the first date, which rarely happens you find out you are crazy for each other than it’s a good idea to disclose. It depends on the individual if you feel a comfort level. I believe it maybe too heavy subject for first date but maybe for second date. It’s also important to know when you disclose you have to know how they may deal with it. If they don’t want to be a part of your life because of lupus than this person was never right for you anyways.

]]> By: Sanquanita Francis https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/#comment-32691 Wed, 17 Jun 2020 15:55:16 +0000 https://lupus-appli-1kjf77zfuvjpc-635402343.us-east-1.elb.amazonaws.com/?p=1201#comment-32691 I have been in a relationship for 6 1/2 yrs.It is very hard to talk to them about it because they don’t care to hear it.I am just alone fighting this Lupus.

]]> By: Connie https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/#comment-676 Wed, 10 May 2017 19:12:51 +0000 https://lupus-appli-1kjf77zfuvjpc-635402343.us-east-1.elb.amazonaws.com/?p=1201#comment-676 It entirely depends on the situation but I typically do not disclose until the relationship turns serious. Whatever that means.

]]> By: nefertara https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/#comment-232 Tue, 21 Feb 2017 17:02:56 +0000 https://lupus-appli-1kjf77zfuvjpc-635402343.us-east-1.elb.amazonaws.com/?p=1201#comment-232 Tell your potential mate OK to share on first date. What you see is what you get.

]]> By: Erika H https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/#comment-220 Sun, 19 Feb 2017 13:36:06 +0000 https://lupus-appli-1kjf77zfuvjpc-635402343.us-east-1.elb.amazonaws.com/?p=1201#comment-220 I believe that it depends on the situation. If you feel as though this person will be in the picture long term the sooner the better so that they can decide if having a relationship with someone that is sick is something they are able to handle. I recently told a guy within the first two weeks, it felt right and it was what I wanted to do. We are no longer dating and me having lupus is a huge reason for this. I’m glad I chose to tell him when I did because the longer we would have dated the closer to him I would have gotten and I would have ended up hurt in the end.

]]> By: DaphneN https://lupuscorner.com/sys-tell-new-date-lupus/#comment-203 Thu, 02 Feb 2017 02:05:46 +0000 https://lupus-appli-1kjf77zfuvjpc-635402343.us-east-1.elb.amazonaws.com/?p=1201#comment-203 As you develop a relationship with someone you should be honest with that person. It is an awesome feeling to have the support of your partner. They can be a benefit in your recovery. My boyfriend helped by researching foods that caused me flares. He was beneficial in helping me recognize my triggers. And the compassion and understanding of my restorative rest was a great reduction of my stress level. It is hard to share the effects of lupus on your body when you quite don’t understand them yourself.

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