Lupus is a personal battle. But, a relationship is an opportunity (and a challenge) to include other people in the battle.
Depending on how long you have been living with lupus, the current severity of your flares, your personal level of comfort inviting other people into the intimate parts of your life, and hundreds of other considerations, when to share with another person that you have lupus can be a difficult choice to make. In fact, it can be such a difficult decision that it may seem easier to give up on sharing the wonderful and nuanced parts of you with new people for fear of how the news of your lupus diagnosis may be received.
You know your body and you know your mind better than anyone else — even when it feels like lupus clouds your view. There are risks and rewards associated with all relationship choices. Listening inward, focusing on your own needs, may help elucidate the path forward that is right for you. Still, it may not make your choice easier.
As the late actress Vivien Leigh said:
Every single night I’m nervous. You never know how the audience is going to react.